I refuse to die in vain - BONIFACE MWANGI narrates how he almost took his own life on August 3, 2024! He had even written a will.

Monday, September 16, 2024 - On August 3, 2024, I found myself in a very dark place and considered taking my own life. A few days earlier, l had signed my will, then rang or texted a few people. It was my farewell. I wanted to die. Exit this world for good. 

There was simply too much pain, grief, and trauma in my life that I couldn’t bear it any longer. I couldn't continue watching helplessly as our country was sucked into a sickening, deadly vortex of State-sanctioned violence, targeting innocent Kenyans.

In writing this now, I am aware that it might attract ridicule and trolling from the usual suspects, but I'm a firm believer in telling your story. Although I wanted to commit suicide, my family and friends threw a ring of love and empathy around me that made me reconsider. 

They forced me to seek professional help, and to take a health break to focus on my mental wellness. That helped to re-center me. 

I have a fresh and new lease of life now, and truly appreciate the overwhelming love and support that was extended to me and my family during that time when the darkness threatened to overcome us.

Even though I don’t owe anyone an explanation, my supporters deserve at least an update, and perhaps elaboration of the circumstances that continue to assail many of those who put their lives on the line fighting for the betterment of this country.

It is common knowledge now that the Ruto regime ruthlessly massacred innocent citizens for nothing other than expressing love for their country, by demonstrating to demand better governance and use of our taxes. 

Dying for loving your country is the ultimate sacrifice anyone can pay, and the most noble act of a true patriot. On the other hand, murdering innocent citizens for speaking their minds is the most ignominious and cowardly act of a despotic government. Ruto called us “treasonous”. 

He deployed the military to the streets - for the first time in 42 years - and prioritized his concern about the alleged destruction of property by demonstrators, over the lives of the citizens who were murdered. 

He did not mourn the death of these innocent and peaceful Kenyans at the hands of the police. In fact, he demonized and described them as criminals to try and justify their killing. 

He ensconced himself in a web of deceit and denial, characterised by his now infamous and callous response during a television interview when he said that a 12-year-old boy, into whose body the police had pumped 8 bullets, was still alive.

He has also consistently denied that anyone has been abducted by the police, even when videos of such illegal acts have been shared online by ordinary Kenyans. 

Some of the brave citizens who played prominent roles in the protests had to move out of their homes and remain underground for fear of being abducted. 

I narrowly escaped getting abducted myself. Over 60 Kenyans abducted since June 25, 2024, some are still missing, with the authorities denying responsibility. 

Do they expect us to believe that all these people disappeared themselves? The government is lying. We all know that it's lying. Yet the silence from those who should be questioning the government is deafening. 

Still, I am among the lucky ones, even though the constant threat of violence and murder from the government takes a toll on one’s mental wellness.

Because l refused to go to State House to cut a deal with Ruto, the money they would have offered as a bribe has been paid to government bloggers to sully my reputation. 

Since June 2024, l have been arrested three times, and been charged and released by the courts twice. This is tantamount to abuse of the court process. 

My children are traumatised by the possibility of their dad getting abducted or murdered.

Not so long ago, I routinely woke up early for a morning run with my children. That is no longer possible. 

When it gets dark, and I’m not home, everyone is worried. My social and business life has been affected, but sometimes I'll throw caution to the wind and venture out because the intent of this intimidation is to instill fear in us - and I won't allow them to have that much control over me.

After all, I have faced many dangers since I started my career as a press photographer. 

I covered the crackdown on the Mungiki and their subsequent executions. I was a journalist when police used to execute suspects and display their bodies to the media.

I documented more bodies in the aftermath of the 2007 post-election violence, when I witnessed the horrors of Kenyans who had been chopped up by their fellow neighbours, and houses razed to the ground with the occupants still trapped inside. 

When Ruto talks about the discovery of bodies in River Yala, where police hit squads abducted, tortured, and dumped bodies in the river, it was myself and other activists who raised the alarm. 

In my brief life, I have witnessed the worst version of humans towards their fellow humans.

 But what breaks me is that perpetrators are never held accountable.

These old traumas were triggered afresh by the police brutality witnessed in the recent youth-led protests. 

The recent harassment recalled the violent arrests I suffered as an activist. l have been wheeled in for surgeries four times to treat injuries inflicted upon me on account of my activism. 

I still refuse to be cowed, even though I bear the trauma of the killings and the abductions that happened on June 25, 2024. 

I was among those in the streets, and encouraged others to protest against over-taxation. We went to the streets peacefully, unarmed, and even notified the police of our intentions. We occupied Parliament peacefully, armed only with our national flags, but the State responded with executions, abductions, and forced disappearances. 

Parliament’s CCTV footage that shows the senseless killings of courageous and patriotic protestors is yet to be made public.

The threat of being abducted, murdered or disappeared will not stop us from organising and getting involved in the movement to liberate Kenya from this brutal, murderous, and corrupt regime led by Ruto. 

Our movement was on the cusp of a win before Raila Odinga betrayed us. Before he walked on the bodies and the blood of the children who sacrificed their lives for a better Kenya, Raila reached out asking what should he do. 

We told him to demand protection for peaceful protestors. We also told him to stay away from the protests, as we had a plan.

Raila, as always, saw an opportunity to benefit personally, just like he did after last year’s Azimio protests that led to over 70 deaths. Those protestors died in vain. I refuse to die in vain. The betrayal is a good thing. 

The return of disgraced individuals into government, and Raila’s co-option into the regime, means that when the moment comes, all of them will be swept away. 

We are happy that Kenya’s biggest problem, the corrupt political class, are in the same boat and we shall sink them all together. Fagia Wote!

 By joining Ruto, Raila transferred his goons to the State, so now we have to deal with both political and State goons. Just like in the days of Moi when we had Jeshi la Mzee, we are facing Jeshi la Raila na Ruto in the streets. 

The biggest beneficiary of the violence is the Ruto regime, it gives them an excuse to illegally ban protests, harass, and abduct peaceful protestors.

 The issues raised by the youth of this country have not gone away just because of a political settlement between two politicians. Young people are still hungry, angry, and unemployed. The arrogance of the political elite is back, even after all the promises Ruto made. He has gone back on his words, as always. 

He has re-appointed almost everyone he fired in some position or other. He lied to the entire nation things would change, and then he went back to his old thieving ways.

But there is no turning back. We have Ruto where we wanted him, to reveal his true colours. He is a true political son of former dictator Moi, and he won’t hesitate to clamp down on free speech, shut down media stations, the internet, and abduct and murder those who protest against his corrupt regime. 

The PR he was busy doing all over the world has come to an end, the whole world now knows that he is a brutal psychopath. He will not fight corruption, or uphold the rule of law, and that’s why the clarion call, “Ruto Must Go” will continue in places of worship, in clubs, and the streets until the man is gone.

The vehicle at our disposal is an organic movement and it will morph and gain structures as we go. This approach was preferred because it makes it difficult to cut deals with politicians. No single individual who is part of the movement can meet Ruto and claim they are representing us. 

I declined all the overtures to meet Ruto. But we're not blind to the fact that it has also left us vulnerable to manipulation and infiltration by State agents. It’s very clear who are the State agents inside the movement. 

They’re never arrested or harassed, even when they take part in the protests, or hold press conferences. And there are no malicious, personalized attacks to their person online. We know them. Their work is to confuse, divide, and report on the movement’s plans.

We have State agents who masquerade as part of the movement, some have even staged arrests to look like they’re genuine. We know the moles. The State knows we know.

We made a deliberate choice to ensure that no matter the level of infiltration, blackmail, bribes, and threats to life, no abduction, betrayal, or murder of one of us will stop the movement. 

We are decentralised and leaderless by choice, for now. #RutoMustGo will remain viable until the man is out of office. 

What we are pushing for isn’t just his removal, but an end to the mindset and attitude that he embodies: corruption, insensitivity, lack of accountability, lack of merit, cronyism, and greed. You could add murder, abductions, subversion of the constitution, and deal-making to those vices. 

The mortgaging of the country’s assets, such as the dubious leasing of the airport to Adani Group, leaves no doubt that these past two years under Kenya Kwanza have been a dress rehearsal of the ongoing and impending grand larceny.

We shall stop their corrupt march because we have unity of purpose. We fundraised 25 million shillings in one day to support injured protestors, and families of those who had been killed - an amount that eventually rose to over 31 million from 35,444 individual contributors.

 Celebrities and influencers were also part of the movement - that’s how we successfully pulled off the Saba Saba Memorial Concert at Uhuru Park in honour of our fallen heroes. 

All the artists performed for free, and people donated money and services to make the concert a reality. When we have our own presidential candidate, we shall crowd-source funds, volunteers, resources, and campaign materials, and remove the greedy, thieving, political class in one day.

We are a people-funded movement, and that’s why the National Intelligence Service and Directorate of Criminal Investigation are chasing ghosts looking for where the resources are coming from. 

NIS, which is headed by Noordin Haji who served six years in the Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions (ODPP) and left the prosecutor’s office without securing a single conviction of any big crooks, has a budget of 46.8 billion shillings. 

In comparison, two important institutions with bigger payrolls and more responsibilities, have smaller budgets; Prisons with Ksh 32.7 billion, and the Judiciary at Ksh 24.7 billion. 

Why is so much money going to one secretive institution? It’s Noordin’s secret police, running the death squads that have been abducting citizens, and running secret jails across the country. It’s also his budget that is being used to bribe politicians and buy loyalty, and pay online bloggers to malign our reputations.

We have a serious mental health crisis in the country. The children who witnessed the killings, the victim’s families, and even the police who were ordered to brutalise peaceful protestors are all suffering. Unlike Ruto, who is a sociopath, the rest of us are fighting for our sanity.

Activists and citizens are suffering from depression and mental breakdown. Kenyans on social media who have PHDs (Pull Him/Her Down) have contributed to the mental health crisis. 

We need to protect those young kids, Hanifa Farsafi, Mercy Tarus, Kasmuel McOure, Morara Kebaso, and others who have emerged from the movement.

They are putting their lives at risk daily, exposing corruption and the evilness of this regime.

They need our love and support from government trolls, and politician's apologists.

 Unfortunately, whistleblowers and activists in Kenya are attacked, shamed, and hounded, destroying many lives in the process and leading to unemployment, depression, alcoholism, and broken marriages. 

The whistleblower of the Goldenberg scam in the 90’s, David Munyakei, died young, broken, and dejected. Pattni, who stole KSh 158.3 billion is still a free man today, allegedly running similar scams in other countries.

 We, the people, must stop hating and fighting those who are working for a better Kenya, while praising, and protecting those who are stealing billions. Support those who are fighting for change, give them your love and support, and defend them online. 

We must stop persecuting people who genuinely love this country and focus our anger on those whose only interest is self-aggrandisement.

The end of Ruto’s regime will see many corrupt politicians, and tenderpreneurs lose their corruption connections and get prosecuted. Some of the criminals who are benefiting from corruption money are the ones funding the smear campaigns. They know that when Ruto goes, jail awaits.

Those with resources, support those who are fighting for change. To the middle and upper-class Kenyans, support civic education in your communities and villages. 

Let the next two years be the ones where Kenyans will become the most politically aware and educated. 

In honour of our martyrs, the ones who led this fight to make Kenya better, we must remember them forever and ensure that Ruto is a one-term president. We can't afford to have a corrupt, cold-blooded murderer continue leading us.

 The day of reckoning is coming soon. The youths who occupied Parliament on June 25, 2024, showed us what courage and patriotism look like. And for standing up to tyranny, they shook the foundation of this regime that has lost all legitimacy. Ruto now holds on to power by clinging on to the coat-tails of the master of opportunism, Raila Odinga.

But not for long. Kenyans have only one option: Ruto Must Go!

 The Kenyan DAILY POST.