Monday, October 28, 2024 - A woman has taken to social media to address her estranged father, rejecting his recent request to reconnect as he reportedly lies sick and bedridden.
In a heartfelt and detailed post, she recounted years of
emotional and familial turmoil, accusing her father of disowning her and
forcing an end to her marriage due to what she describes as disdain for her
happiness and modest lifestyle.
The Facebook user, Awele Ideal, alleged that her father
rejected her marriage to a man who he believed didn’t meet the family’s wealth
standards, going as far as returning her bride price and disowning her. She
recalls how the incident led to tension and eventual divorce, despite her
attempts to hold her marriage together. Her story also touches on years of
mistreatment from her stepmother and alleged emotional abuse from her father,
which left a lasting impact on her family life.
She said twelve years after disowning her, the father
reportedly reached out, wanting to speak with her from his sick bed. However,
she stated that she has moved on, having found closure and strength through
faith, and has no desire to revisit her past pain. Although she forgave her
father long ago, she maintains that she does not want any further contact,
wishing him well but choosing to prioritize her peace.
Awele wrote;
Dear Father, I was told this evening
that you want me to call you but I told the Messenger to tell you that I won’t
call you because I don’t want to have anything to do with you and I don’t care
to know what you want to say to me on your sick bed. I forgave you long ago. I
sincerely forgave you and everyone who contributed to all the torture and
heartbreaks I had experienced in my life.
It’s been 12years since you
did your worse against me for no reason at all just because you hate to see me
happy. 12 years ago, you returned my Brideprice unprovoked. My Ex husband and I
never wronged you in any way. Our only crime was that we were not as rich as
your other children and in-laws and so you practically turned my husband (Ex)
into your slaveee and for just the one time he refused to run an errand for you
because he felt disrespected by the way and manner your message was delivered
to him…
You my father had told my
younger sister (step) to call my Husband (Ex) and tell him to go and organize
the water that will be used for cooking in her traditional marriage.I could
remember vividly how he took that message on that fateful day. I was bathing my
then 4months old Baby ChukwuMemofuma when my Ex stormed the bathroom stammering
in anger that he has never been disrespected in this manner. I begged him to
calm down and to put the blame on me because such insult won’t come if he
wasn’t married to me, I also begged him to allow me speak to my so called step
sister who delivered such disrespectful message to him without regarding my
feelings or consequencesof her action (how will she regard me when I was
nothing but a mere slave to her Mom my stepmother while growing up) I begged
him to put all the blame on me cos his marrying me didn’t affect how they
disrespected or disregarded me even though I am the firstborn child of the
family.
I later called my stepsister
to tell her that she was wrong to disrespect my husband that way and that she
ought to have called me instead and I would have gladly assisted her with the
errand. She argued seriously with me but later agreed to apologize to my Ex for
peace sake. An apology I appreciated but little did I know that after my Ex
left me while bathing our baby, and he called You my father to express his
displeasure for sending him such an errand through your young(est) daughter,
someone who is the 4th child while me his Ex wife is the 1st child of the
family.
You my Father apologized to
my husband (Ex) for your disrespect and that made him calm. But little did we
know that you had prepared the worse for us because that same day you took
money to my in-laws house and flunged the envelope of money at my Father inlaw
and told him that his son my husband (Ex) is no longer your inlaw and that if
your daughter (me) wants to remain in that marriage that I stand disowned.
On hearing this ugly incident
my heart broke a million times I went to my village to report to your brothers
who followed me to my laws place but the only condition my angry in-laws gave
them was for them to tell you to come back and pick up the money you threw on
the floor of the old man’s house. But till date you failed to do it and called
their bluff. I stood by my husband (Ex) and was determined to make our marriage
work, but no matter how much I tried, sand sand don already enter my Garri and
my husband (Ex) and inlaw isolated me for the disgrace and shame they claimed I
brought on them through my father’s conduct.
I managed to remain in my
already shaky marriage and even decided to have one more child cos maybe that
will unit us again but even the arrival of my last princess (Kasimma) could not
bring back peace and love to my marriage. After suffering in silence for two
more years, coupled with the drastic and ugly changes in the character of the
man I once married, I decided to leave EVERYTHING I had ever worked for behind.
And I picked up myself and my 3 Daughters and left my marriage with the little
dignity I had left in me. I was only 31 years old, afraid to face the Future
and I was hopeless at the time I took this bold step.
Father, you were not only an
Enabler to the maltreatment I endured in my stepmom’s hands, your own
wickedness on me was worse. And I swore several times that in my next life I
will not cross paths with you even as a mere passerby because I won’t want to throw
greetings at you. You hated me for no reason even though all I ever showed you
was respect and submission as your daughter.
Two weeks after I left my
marriage, I sent you a THANK YOU TEXT. Thanking you for your role and
contribution towards the destruction of my once sweet marriage. You never
responded to it. Only your Mother stood by me and you hated her for speaking
the truth against you… That’s why I Love Grandma
I later prayed God to help me
heal my tender heart and to give me the grace to forgive you and everyone
who had stabbed me with unkindness and wickedness. God answered my prayer and
gave me the closure i desperately needed and helped me to be able to forgive
everyone and moved on with the broken pieces of my life… I moved on ALONE WITH
MY 3 Daughters who were just 7, 5 and 3 years olds.
I got the closure I
desperately needed from God. I got the healing I needed from God. I got the
courage to face life again from God. God has been my only true source of
strength till date I owe God so much.
Thank You Father, for without
your hatred I wouldn’t have stumbled on my inner strength. So I FORGIVE YOU
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. However, I am not your child Sir, you disowned me
in 2012 when I chose to stand by my husband (Ex) and fight for my marriage
because he never deserved the disrespect you meted at him and you had no right
to shut him up from expressing his displeasure. Unfortunately, we finally
Divorced and I’m in a better place today with my peace of mind intact.
To show that I forgave you a
long time ago, when you celebrated your 70th birthday in 2022, I asked for your
account details from one of your children and I sent you a big sum of money and
a text message but you never acknowledged it or responded to my message even
though you bragged about my gift but you never told me a “Thank you”. I did not
regret being kind to you once more despite all you put me through but I made up
my mind NEVER TO LOOK AT YOUR DIRECTION ANYMORE.
Thank you Father, but I won’t
call you. I hear you are terribly sick and bedridden but I won’t visit you or
call you. Keep whatever you want say, I don’t want to hear it. I wish you well
Father. God be with you Sir.
I will stop here for now
because I’m already writing a Book about my life to tell my Story. But I pray
you see this before it’s too late.
NB:
Let none of you piss me off
with unsolicited advice on this post. If you try it, i will send you to my
Block Industry straight. Be Warned.
#AweleChukwukaumemma
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